Introduction

When I look at today’s society and the world of competitive sports, I see a lot of things that cause concern. There is so much focus on winning at all costs, coaching records, and achievements. As a result many coaches take shortcuts to getting to the highest levels of the coaching profession. They focus on their record, as it is the first concrete statistic that will help them get a job at the next level. This causes a situation where they end up bending their rules and philosophy to get to the end goal. Instead of focusing on developing the kids they coach, they focus on winning. They develop different standards for their star players than the rest of the team. They want to keep the star player happy so that the star player stays on the team and attracts other star players to make the team even more successful. This mentality leads to kids that believe they deserve certain rights or privileges because they are the star player. The coach continues to give in to the star player, which gives the star player even more of a sense of entitlement.

At the end of the day, what coaching is really about gets lost in the noise. Coaching is not about that next job or your record of wins and losses. Coaching is about developing young individuals not only as good athletes, but also good people. While I coach competitive soccer, it is not my career (my career is in computer software), and therefore, my philosophies are much different than most coaches. The intention of this book is to share what I think is the real definition of coaching success.

I would be remiss if I did not give credit to the important people in my life that have been helped me continue coaching and become a better coach.

First, credit to my wife, Leslie, and my kids, Andrew and Rebecca. Throughout the years, they have made sacrifices that have allowed me to coach. I have missed their own games and practices in order to coach the teams that I am responsible for. They do it knowing that I am very passionate about coaching, and they willingly let me pursue that area of passion. For their sacrifices, I will be forever indebted.

Second, credit to all of the teams and individuals I have coached over the years. While every year and every team provides a different set of experiences for a coach, they all help to mold different aspects of your coaching philosophy. Not every coaching situation is comfortable or positive, but they all provide lessons that can be later used with other teams and players. I have been very lucky to work with some great players, teams, and families. While they didn’t always agree with the decisions I made or make as a coach, they have supported me over the years.

All of my coaching activities are related to coaching competitive youth soccer for kids between the ages of 11 and 17. While I did play soccer throughout my youth and adulthood, it was never my primary sport. I also played basketball, baseball, volleyball, and softball. Part of what molds my coaching philosophy has a lot to do with the experiences I faced as a player, both positive and negative. I have played for coaches that were both verbally and physically abusive. I’ve been on teams where we’ve only won 2 out of 20 games. I’ve been on teams where the coach only played the starting players regardless of how far our team was ahead in a game. I’ve also played for some great coaches, and played on teams that have won championships. While you learn a lot over the years as a coach, a lot of your philosophy is also molded from your experience as a player. I find that I draw on all of my past coaching and playing experiences to continuously improve my coaching abilities.